Pennsylvania Sexual Harassment Lawyer >> Divorcing A Narcissist
Divorcing A Narcissist
Is Your Husband A Narcissist?
You’ve heard from friends about the “easy” divorce. The couple decides that they each want to move on from the relationship. Since they still respect each other and both love their kids, they work everything out–property distribution, childcare, custody–with the least amount of stress possible.
Sure, you’ve heard about those kinds of divorces, but that’s not the kind of divorce your spouse intends to let you have. With your spouse, you have learned that the fight is less about specifics than it is about control. He wanted to control you during the marriage, and now he wants to control you during the divorce. There is a word for this behavior – “narcissism.” Your spouse is a narcissist.
The good news is that at Cross Law Firm, we don’t do those nice, easy divorces – we are specifically designed to get you through the divorce process – including custody, support, property distribution and alimony – in spite of your spouse’s narcissism. And here is some more good news – your spouse is going to spend so much energy hating us, he will have less energy to hate – and seek to control – you.
Divorcing a narcissist is a completely different process from the normal divorce because the usual rules that govern actions simply won’t apply. The narcissist cares only about control, so he will act in ways that appear to be irrational unless you understand his true motivation. Sometimes, lawyers make the mistake of trying to be “reasonable” with the narcissist. This won’t work and will only feed his belief that he can control the agenda.
Divorcing a narcissist will require far more patience than the usual divorce. But Cross Law Firm – your Pennsylvania divorce lawyers – will guide you through the process and – ultimately – we will succeed.
Types of Divorces In Pennsylvania
Contested v. Uncontested Divorce
The narcissist spouse may believe that proceeding with an uncontested divorce will allow him more control than the contested divorce. An uncontested divorce is where you and your spouse agree on all divorce-related terms. This includes child custody, child support, alimony, property division and more. If you and your spouse cannot agree on even one divorce-related term, then it will be a contested divorce.
At Cross Law Firm your Pennsylvania divorce attorneys will advise you as to which route makes sense for your situation.
No-Fault Divorce in Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania allows for no-fault divorce. This means that couples getting divorced are not required to state specific fault grounds. If you file a no-fault divorce, it means that both parties consent to the divorce and “irreconcilable differences” are usually the basis for the divorce. Neither spouse is blaming the other.
To obtain a no-fault divorce in Pennsylvania you and your spouse must have been separated for two years prior to the filing of your divorce, or you will have to consent to the divorce and wait 90 days before your divorce will be finalized.
After all the smoke has cleared, the narcissist spouse will sometimes opt for the no-fault divorce, since it apportions no “blame” to him for his actions.
Fault-Based Divorce in Pennsylvania
In Pennsylvania you may choose to cite specific fault grounds in your divorce. These grounds may include adultery, extreme cruelty, abandonment for at least one year, imprisonment for more than two years, as well as others. Typically, parties cite fault grounds in order to receive an advantage regarding alimony or child custody. There are other specific reasons you might want to to this with the narcissistic spouse, which we can discuss with you at your interview.
When you cite fault grounds, the narcissistic spouse will deny the allegations. You will need seasoned trial-lawyers who are able to prove the allegations in a court of law. At Cross Law Firm, your Pennsylvania divorce lawyers are up to that challenge!
Meeting the Residency Requirement
To obtain a divorce in Pennsylvania, you must have lived in Pennsylvania for at least six months prior to filing for divorce. You should also file the divorce in the county where you or your spouse reside.
Dividing Property In Divorce
If you and your spouse do not have an executed prenuptial or postnuptial agreement and cannot agree on how to divide your property, and judge will make that determination through the process of Equitable Distribution.
In the Equitable Distribution process, the judge assigned to your case will assess the marital property and take in other factors such as each spouse’s earnings, the alimony and child custody agreement already in place, and more.
Property included in Equitable Distribution calculation can include your house, vehicles, and personal possessions, including jewelry and money held in bank accounts.
Mediated Divorces
If you cannot agree to divorce terms with your narcissist spouse, it may be possible to work out divorce terms with an outside divorce mediator. Mediation is less contentious, less public, and less expensive than courtroom litigation. If your main goal is to convince your narcissist spouse to agree to a reasonable compromise, this may be your best course. You will want to discuss that with your Pennsylvania divorce attorney at Cross Law Firm.
Child Custody
For many of our clients, the issue of child custody is more important than any other. At Cross Law Firm, your Pennsylvania custody lawyer will be prepared to work with you to achieve your custody goals, even when dealing with the narcissist spouse.
In deciding issues involving child custody, Pennsylvania courts are required to determine the child’s best interests. At Cross Law Firm, your Pennsylvania custody lawyer knows how to present your case in order to achieve your desired result.
Child custody can be broken down into two areas: Legal and Physical custody.
Legal Custody in Pennsylvania
Legal custody is the right of a parent to make major life decisions for a child.
Physical Custody in Pennsylvania
Physical custody is the right to provide a home for the child. These rights are often shared.
If you are ready to fight back and regain control of your life from your narcissistic spouse, contact us today.